Monday, April 1, 2013

Goodbyes & Going Back Home

Saying goodbye is the worst. I hate it.

This past week, my Grandmother passed away. I called her Grams. It was tough. I am so happy she wasn't in pain, wasn't suffering, and had a wonderful day with family before she went to sleep. You couldn't ask for a more peaceful way to go. I am selfishly sad that she is not here with us any longer.

When I was a little girl, I was at my Grams and Gramps house, spending the night. And I don't remember why exactly, but I was crying. My Grams looked at me and said, "Please don't cry. It hurts me so badly to see you cry." So that is exactly what I am trying to do right now. Not cry. Grams wouldn't want me to be sad and crying. She'd want me to remember all the good memories. I love and miss her dearly and cannot wait to see her in Paradise!

So we drove the 650+ miles Thursday after work to be with family this past weekend. It's a long drive, but we've done it many times. I wouldn't have missed going up there for anything. The longer I am gone, the less that it feels like "home" there. We were able to spend time with my Mom, my Uncle, my Sister, and Neice and Nephew and other family and call things considered, we had a nice visit. We got up at 4am yesterday to drive back home. Needless to say, I am exhausted.. physically, emotionally, and otherwise. But today, I'm going to do my best not to cry. I love my Grams and will forever be her "Ricki Raccoon."

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