Thursday, July 18, 2013


Back in April I took on a new position at work. I not only had to move my office 30 miles away, but I also get to travel a lot. Not the fun kind of First Class flight travel. No, it's hours in my car. I don't mind driving usually, but it's starting to wear on me. Covering the same stretch of freeway gets a bit monotonous.

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Dear Mr. Left Lane,
There is a right lane. It's also called the slow lane. They did not pave the left lane just for you. As you might guess the "slow lane" is for those going slower than the rest of traffic. Get your buns over!

Dear Mini Van Driver,
I am pretty sure your owners manual came with the instructions: "You must drive like an a-hole to drive this rig." No offense to those that do drive mini vans and don't drive like jerks. I'm being stereotypical here.... but if the shoe fits.... ;)

Dear Ms. I've Got Places to Be,
Surprise! So does everyone else who anticipated which lane they needed to be in for their exit. Cutting someone off in order to get one car length ahead is ridiculous. You best be glad my brakes are in good working order.

Dear Mr. Bright Idea,
That road sign with the big flashing arrow a half mile back indicating the lane you are in was ending didn't apply to you. We know. You're special. Go ahead and wait until the lane ends and cut someone off. We understand you deserve special treatment and to get somewhere a few minutes faster than everyone else.

Dear Mr. Trucker,
I know, you're on a time schedule, but how about passing another trucker on that nice straight flat stretch a half mile back. No? Ok, pass him on the hill and slow the rest of traffic on the freeway down to 40mph, only to decide it's not worth it, slow down to 30mph to get back behind the same truck. That was 3 minutes well spent.

Dear Out of Towners,
I'm pretty sure English is the language used where you come from, as indicated by your state license plate. That light you were at, where it said, "No turning on red." Yeah, they meant that, because some other people have a green light. You know those people you almost just plowed into. It's ok, you're from out of town. We get it. We should've drawn a picture. Reading is hard!

Dear Tailgater,
I understand you're in a hurry and you want to boogie. That's fine by me. I always enjoy having someone ahead of me speeding faster than me. Less chance of me getting a speeding ticket. I will gladly get right into the slow lane as soon as I pass this slow poke over there on the right. However, when you ride my buns to where I cannot see your headlights or even hood in my rear view, you best bet I'm going to be the most annoying law abiding, drive the exact speed limit citizen there is.

Happy Driving Friends!

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